Monday, October 25, 2010


A miscommunication occured between Ric and the Ticket Reservations representative at the time he purchased his bus ticket. He went to the terminal shortly after noon today to avoid a long wait before boarding at 5:35 PM. While going through his trip itinerary, he found that he does not leave until tomorrow, same time. He did not go through the details with me when he called. I assume he confirmed it with the ticketing officer, though, and that the information he saw on the ticket is apparently correct.

He is spending another night here in Washington, but does that do me any good? Not exactly. Why not? Well for one, it is not as if we are spending this extra time together since I am stuck here in this live-in job until Wednesday night. Another reason is that the longer it takes for him to get to San Francisco and back here, the longer agony it would me for me from not knowing if he would return with good news or otherwise. As of this writing, the latter seems to be of more importance to me than the former because whatever he brings back with him will determine what will happen to us, to our current situation as a couple.

I want to be optimistic about all this, but I could not help but worry about what is up next in this chapter of our life. We are competing with time here. It is a race between the time we are able to straighten out our status--mine, especially--and the time my son reaches the age of majority.

I feel so restless. I have not been getting enough sleep lately from thinking about the future. I feel so helpless. I am left with no other option but to wait and see what is in store for me, for my kids, for me and Ricky.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:Firwood Dr,Lynnwood,United States

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Separation Anxiety

Ricky is leaving for California tomorrow to personally affix his signature on a few documents that would help us move on to the next level in our relationship.

Frankly, I do not know how to describe how I feel. I am excited because this is something we have long been waiting for. At the same time, I am nervous because I do not know what could happen while he is there; especially since the duration of our temporary separation is yet unknown. Then again, just the thought of him leaving--it does not matter where he is going--already makes me sick in the stomach.

I fervently pray for The Holy Spirit to stay by his side, and to guide him through the whole process of what he needs to settle there before he comes back to me.

Hopefully, this would be the beginning of the end of our wait which seems to have already lasted forever and a day.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Location:Firwood Dr,Lynnwood,United States

Saturday, October 23, 2010


There comes times in our life where we do negatively unfathomable things to the ones we love, paticularly our significant other. Afterward, we question our own actions and ask for forgiveness from the person we wronged.

It's funny how we have the audacity to ask them for forgiveness when we couldn't even find it in our heart to forgive ourselves.

Is it normal for a couple of nearly 7 years to verbally hurt each other & simply walk away or move on as if nothing bad happened?

Location:Firwood Dr,Lynnwood,United States